Christian Infertility Counseling

A Crisis Infertility Clinic

Melissa Foley’s passion is about showing women that there is an ethical and effective alternative to IVF.

It takes a certain kind of grit for a woman to take 288 negative pregnancy tests, six surgeries, three failed adoptions, and two miscarriages—and to keep on hoping for the gift of a healthy baby.  In her own battle with infertility, Regnum Christi member Melissa Foley experienced all the sadness and desperation that one out of ten women endures when their best efforts to have a baby end up fruitless.

When everything is ready but the stork never arrives, it can be tempting to look for extreme solutions. One of those solutions is IVF (in vitro fertilization), which combines an egg and a sperm in a glass petri dish and then injects the fertilized egg—now a human person in the earliest stages of development—back into the woman’s uterus.

On the surface, IVF looks like a dream come true: who wouldn’t want to give these women the chance to be mothers?  But a deeper look shows that IVF—already an expensive treatment at about $12,000 per cycle—has a tremendous hidden cost in human lives. For each cycle of injections, 24 new lives come into existence, of which four may be implanted and one or two survive. The remaining twenty lives will be thrown in the trash, donated to scientific research, or frozen in liquid nitrogen.

The terrible irony of IVF is that a wanted pregnancy could create an even higher death toll than an unwanted pregnancy. While an abortion may claim the life of one or two babies at a time, a single IVF treatment creates and then destroys lives by the dozens.

And this is why Melissa has made it her mission to “talk women off of the IVF ledge” through a ministry which is also a business: as a “Christian infertility coach,” she reaches out to women who are in exactly the same place of desperation and anguish that she was in, and shows them the solution that gave her three healthy babies.

An IVF alternative

“Doctors recommend IVF way too often without knowing what is really going on with the woman. They tell couples that it’s the only option, but it’s not true. IVF is not your only option. There are alternatives to IVF,” said Melissa, noting that in many cases, infertility is actually the symptom of another underlying problem.

In her experience, that underlying problem was an illness called endometriosis, which is when cells from the uterine lining migrate to other areas of the body, settling on the ovaries, for example, and stifling the normal fertility cycle. Yet, endometriosis can be corrected with laser surgery and medication. Once it is removed, a woman’s fertility can actually double.

It should have been obvious to most doctors that correcting endometriosis would be the first step to restoring her fertility. But in Melissa’s experience, many were quick to recommend IVF, which would have meant forcing her body to have a baby without correcting the underlying problems.

That was until she met Dr. Thomas Hilgers at the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction in Omaha, Nebraska. His expertise in NaPro (Natural Procreative) Technology opened a new perspective for the Foleys, giving them a sense of hope in the possibility of working with nature, not against it, and of finding a solution that would not put them on a path of disobedience to God.

When Dr. Hilgers’ approach worked out and gave them one healthy pregnancy after another, Melissa and her husband Ryan were filled with gratitude.

“I was just so grateful for it and I wanted to give back. Anytime there was some quiet time, when we would go on a long drive, that desire and that call to help other couples would keep coming up again,” she recalled.

“I wanted to encourage people and let them know that it does work, that you can have a baby and also maintain your relationship with God and each other,” she said.

A crisis infertility clinic

Over time, that persistent desire led her to launch her outreach, which went live on March 25, 2010, the feast day of the Annunciation of the Lord.

Through her outreach, she has personally coached many other women who are seriously considering IVF, who have a sense of the ethical problems and risks associated with it, and who are open to looking for alternatives. Even so, in some cases, the desire for a baby is so strong in the women that they consider sacrificing their faith and morals on the altar of IVF.

“Women have that strong, natural inclination to want to give life as the fruit of a marriage. But they need to be able to see that although God gave you that desire, it cannot be ‘at all costs,’ and the end does not justify the means,” said Melissa.

Melissa’s role is much like that of a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. When a woman is in anguish, facing an impossible choice, driven by fear, anguish, or confusion, she doesn’t just need medical advice. She needs someone to talk to, someone who gets the bigger picture with all of its emotional, moral, spiritual, and medical implications.

As Melissa puts it, “It’s about the whole person, not just her uterus.”

And reaching the whole person is precisely where Melissa’s personal gifts come in. She is not only knowledgeable about the medical side of IVF and alternative options, but she also has a special ability to listen and relate to people as a sister and a friend. As on the larger pro-life battlefield, one of the most important weapons is authentic empathy, a love that encompasses both woman and baby.

Not every conversation is successful. People have their freedom, plus there are some who feel a lot of pressure from family and friends who see no ethical problems with taking the IVF route.

“They teeter on the edge of IVF for a long time. It’s a very long conversation,” said Melissa, noting that a one-shot counseling session is usually not enough. “Society, their parents, their best friends are telling them, ‘Oh, you should do it.’ It’s so hard for them to know what to say back when people lose patience with them, when they’re crying and upset.”

“I know some good Catholics who have jumped. That’s how strong that desire is,” she said.

At the same time, there have been some success stories, too. Keeping women away from IVF is only half of the success story; the other half is when the wait or the pursuit of alternative methods bears fruit. Although Melissa could not share any particular cases in order to protect client confidentiality, she did mention one case of a woman who had been trying to have a baby for some time and decided to schedule a session with Melissa. The day before her scheduled conversation, she tested positive for pregnancy. When she shared the news, they both laughed.

“Sometimes God just blesses people’s desire to stay within the confines of morality,” Melissa said.

A battle ahead

The practice of IVF is bound to grow in the coming years. Each year, more than 85,000 American women undergo IVF treatments. Over 250,000 babies have been born through IVF technology since the technique was first tried in the United States in 1981.

At present, there are close to 400,000 frozen embryos locked away in about 365 laboratories across the United States alone. Many others have been quietly discarded. As IVF becomes more sophisticated and affordable, both of those numbers will grow exponentially.

In that context, the need for a faith and science-based outreach will grow as well. Although the IVF machine dwarfs anything that one woman can do, Melissa’s plan is to keep spreading the word that IVF is not the final solution and to team up with a NaPro-trained surgeon.

Specifically, she wants to open up an alternative clinic in downtown Atlanta, right next to the biggest IVF clinic in the area. The idea is not unlike opening a crisis pregnancy center right across the street from a Planned Parenthood clinic.

A battle like that takes a certain kind of grit. It takes hoping against hope, and then hoping some more in the face of rejection. And it sounds like something Melissa Foley would do.

For more information about Melissa Foley’s Christian infertility coaching, or to recommend it to a friend, visit www.melissalfoley.com. This article was published with the permission of the author, Melissa Foley.

Christmas and New Year’s Reading

It has been well documented that reading, particularly from a book, as opposed to electronic media, is becoming a lost art and pastime. However, that in in way reduces its value. To the contrary, in a culture that overwhelms us with noise and images, reading enables us to enter into dimensions connected to yet removed from our times. And so, it seems fitting as a New Year beckons to share some book recommendations on topics I have published and spoken on.

I have concentrated on titles from the Liturgical Press for three reasons:

1) They have not published me, so I don’t have any conflict of interest issues.

2) I probably have more books in my library published by TLP than any other press.

3) They have both popular and academic titles, and some in between, and therefore in doing a review I can cover a substantial amount of ground.

I will be discussing these on an upcoming Relevant Radio program, which I will disclose whenever it is finalized.

Because everyone is busy at this time of year, I’ll keep my comments brief and to the point.

Although it is unfair to compare books on different subject, it is also helpful to proportionately rate titles. Accordingly, I’ll start with my favorite of the titles I reviewed, and explain why, and then go in descending order. That does not mean that the last title is deficient. It just may be that it is on a topic where there are a ton of good books, and it is very difficult to stand out.

All of these titles are available from The Liturgical Press. Their website is www.litpress.org. Their phone number is 1-800-858-5450. If you decide to purchase these books, please buy them direct from Liturgical Press or your local bookstore, rather than online. Online vendors are helping put bookstores out of business, and they also cut greatly into author’s royalties.

1)  Scripture in the Church: The Synod on the Word of God (James Chukwuma Okoye, Cssp)

This is an accessible yet erudite book on a very important topic. It is always best to go to the source on a subject, and what better sources for contemporary Church teaching on Scripture than a synod and an apostolic exhortation?

The author also provides a condensed overview of late twentieth century developments in Catholic biblical scholarship. This is very helpful for understanding the context for the Synod and the Pope’s synthesis. By the way, the latter is very long and detailed, yet quite readable. Hey, were you expecting a summary, superficial treatment from a former German theological professor?

I must caution that both the book and subject are not amenable to speed reading. You are going to need to take your time with this book, as it is packed with helpful information which will require digestion. Because of the timeliness of the topic and the competence of the treatment, this gets my number one rating.

2) Lectio Divina: The Medieval Experience of Reading (Duncan Robertson)

I have written ten books on this subject, yet I found this very fresh, deep, and thoughtful. This is not a rehashing of previously published material. This is not for the beginner, however. Any person who has practiced lectio divina, read at least one or two books on the subject, and who is interested in the medieval roots of the subject, set against contemporary academic thought, will find this extraordinarily helpful.

Again, this book draws from the original sources and shows their relevance to today. An excellent book quite suited to a serious reader and devotee of the subject.  It is refreshing to see such a seminal book published in a market where the breezy and superficial so often garners attention.  The author has worked with the leading authorities and resources on the subject, and articulated them in a very comprehensible and coherent manner. Nothing less than a must read for serious students of lectio divina.

3) The Faith of the Early Fathers, 3 volumes by William A. Jurgens

Patristics, the study of the teaching of the early church fathers, experienced a renaissance in Catholic theology in the mid-twentieth century, and has continued to regain its prominence. Of course, it never went away, but great thinkers (e.g. Henri de Lubac, Jean Danielou, etc.) came along and helped us rediscover it.

This book is an excellent source for learning both about the early Church fathers and what they taught. Assembled chronologically in three volumes, this contains a wealth of insightful and reflection-inspiring excerpts from ancient but also timeless writings. Though perhaps a bit advanced for an absolute beginner, it has much to offer for both scholar and layman. An outstanding resource on an important but oft-overlooked subject. For good reason this has remained in print for over forty years. That alone speaks volumes.

4) Desert Banquet: A year of Wisdom from the Desert Mothers and Fathers by David G. R. Keller

I loved this book! Eminently readable and thoughtfully put together. It follows quotes from the Desert mothers and fathers with explanations and applications.  This is well-written survey of desert wisdom with modern relevance.  The author has good psychological insights and pastoral sense.

For personal growth value, I would take this book over  contemporary self-help titles any day. I also found it enjoyable to read, though you have to take your time with it. The author, an Episcopal priest, tackles very practical issues and provides substantive food for thought that will need to be processed deliberately. A good source for lectio divina as well.

5) By What Authority? A Primer on Scripture, the Magisterium, and the Sense of the Faithful by Richard R. Gaillardetz

This is an accessible, not overly academic treatment of important, inter-related, but oft-overlooked subjects. If you teach the Bible, and want to go deeper in your understanding of its role in the Church, this is ideal. However, I see this as being an excellent text for graduate theology courses. It goes a bit beyond popular questions and explores areas of ambiguity in contemporary thought. As with the Bible, everything the Church teaches can’t be abundantly clear, as life certainly isn’t.

This is a well-reasoned, readable book by a very competent thinker on the subject. highly recommended.

6) I would like to highlight two series published by the Liturgical Press. First, the New Collegeville Bible Commentary. Actually, this is the third edition of this series. The first was published in the late 1950s and early 1960s. The second in the mid-1980s. Both were excellent, among the finest popular commentary series available, and my review of early titles of this series indicates that the tradition of excellence will continue. To quote a popular expression, “this is what they do”: The Liturgical Press publishes excellent popular resources on the Bible by outstanding and widely respected scholars.

Containing the newly published and episcopally approved English translation of the Bible, this is an excellent resource for Bible study/sharing groups and introductory classes on the Bible.  The tradition continues!  Very highly recommended.

Second, Berit Olam, an academic commentary series on the Hebrew Bible. For the reader with an intermediate or advanced understanding of the Bible, this series is a must read. Combining outstanding scholarship with literary excellence, and reflecting a variety of traditions, I see it as a more focused and accessible Catholic equivalent of the superb Anchor Bible series. Focusing on the literary dimensions of the text, rather than obscure source-critical questions (hypothesized developments of the text over time), this serves a valuable purpose in contemporary biblical studies, bridging academia and popular studies of the Bible.   Its goals are aesthetic as well as intellectual and formational, suiting precisely the texts it explores. The endeavor is ambitious but well conceived and executed.

A worthy companion to the outstanding New Testament series published in the early 1990s and continuing into the new millennium.

Let’s end our review on a light and practical note. The Liturgical Press has long been known for their outstanding inventory reduction sales. I always got a kick out of the pictures of the publisher that would accompany the catalog. And the deals were great. Coming out in the spring, there are always excellent titles available, and often at below-wholesale prices.  Remember that a book’s sales numbers are not necessarily indicative of its value.

If you are not on the Liturgical Press’ mailing list, contact them and get on it. Their catalogues are well organized, descriptive, and colorful. They have long been a premier Catholic publisher, and remain so despite earthquake-like upheavals in the industry. From my vantage point, unlike many presses, quality has not slipped, and superficial popular trends have been avoided.  For Bible, spirituality, theological, and liturgical titles, they truly excel, and are worth keeping track of.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at karlaschultz@juno.com, or submit a posting for the blog.

Pro Football Hall of Fame

I recently had the opportunity to visit the Pro Football Hall of Fame, which is conveniently located next to I-77 in Canton Ohio. It opened its doors in 1963, and has undergone four expansions since then. I have been there several times before, but as it continually circulates its collection and adds new exhibits, there was much for me to see.

I came just as the players and owners were beginning to finalize their agreement and end the lockout. Sadly for Canton, its Hall of Fame game was a casualty.

I have been to the basketball and baseball hall of fames, so I have a good frame of reference for evaluating it.

First, the Hall of Fame is so big that even when it is crowded, it is navigable. However, the best time to go is either early or late, when you have elbow room. It is much calmer and quieter.

If you like football highlight videos, you have come to the right place. They are everywhere to be found. And there are artifacts galore. Even talks on the artifacts.

There are also a significant number of volunteers on hand to answer your questions or provide directions. Polite, enthusiastic, and well-informed, they contribute to the Hall’s comfortable atmosphere.

If you wish to bring something home, the Hall’s large, well-stocked gift shop can accommodate your needs. It has paraphernalia for every team, and even sections for that team. From autographed helmets to bumper stickers. You could spend an hour in the shop alone.

The “Countdown to the Super Bowl” movie was quite an experience. Top quality video and audio, in a moving theatre to boot.

When you’re hungry, there is a nice, reasonably priced snack shop. Typically these are over-priced, but the Hall of Fame has opted for affordability, and consequently families find a convenient place to fill their stomachs and take a break from the action.

Right next to the Hall of Fame is a beautiful park suitable for walking by streams and in the woods. Parking is free and plentiful.

Adjacent to the Hall of Fame is Fawcett stadium, the site of the annual HOF game. It is an older stadium, which is quite refreshing.

Every August the HOF gears up for its annual enshrinement weekend. The place fills up, and many members return to reminisce about old-times. And the autograph hounds make their appearance as well. Be prepared for crowds, but the Hall has the space to accommodate the multitude. You’ll just have to wait in a few lines, that’s all.

Everything you’d like to know about the Hall can be found at their website, profootballhof.com. Be sure to check it out before you go, as it is helpful in planning your trip.

If you and your loved ones like football, the Hall is definitely for you. Its a visitor-friendly place rather than a mausoleum.  You could easily spend two days in here and not see everything. Most people seem to spend 3-5 hours. Whatever your tastes for football, its well worth sampling.

 

A trilogy on a modern crisis

I am in the process of reviewing three books on misandry (hatred of men) in North American culture.  The research is comprehensive and the assertions reasonable. It is overwhelming to comment on these because there is so much there, and the issues are exceedingly complex. Suffice to say that anyone interested in this overlooked but important subject would do well to start here. They are available from McGill University Press in Montreal.

The books are entitled Spreading Misandry, Legalizing Misandry, and Sanctifying Misandry.  Here is a bit about the co-authors.

Dr. Katherine Young is James McGill Professor in the Faculty of Religious Studies at McGill University. Dr. Paul Nathanson is a senior researcher there and a professional editor. They have worked together at McGill for many years on research projects. Her areas of expertise are Eastern religions and gender. His are Western religions, secularity, and gender.

Little Rock Catholic Study Bible

The Liturgical Press in collaboration with the Little Rock Bible Study has just released an outstanding study Bible containing the newest translation, the NABRE.

This is highly recommended for several reasons:

It is user friendly. I don’t particularly like the introduction by Catherine Upchurch because it seems to me to be written at too basic of a level. The trend in publishing is to dumb down the level of writing, and that was my feeling about her introduction —

But that is because I am used to reading advanced commentaries and prefer a level of writing that does not tend towards the lowest common denominator. Many people without a background to the Bible will probably like Ms. Upchurch’s style, which is transparent and accessible. I just don’t like feeling like I am having my hand held as I move through a text. Others new to the endeavor will feel more comfortable. Most publishers, Catholic and secular, have adopted this third grade level type of prose, because apparently it is where a lot of readers are at. I think it better to challenge people a bit. However, that is a biased, subjective opinion. If you are new to a study Bible, you may well be very glad for the style of the introduction.

This objection notwithstanding, Ms. Upchurch does a very good job of explaining the Bible, and will not lose the reader, so she should not be faulted. St. Augustine said he would rather be understood by the people than praised by the philosophers. She does well what an introduction should do: give the lay of the land in comprehensible fashion.

The reader should also know is that I have in the past had one of my own publications on the Bible subjected to a “dumbing down” by another writer, so I recognize when this is being done, or at least I perceive it as such, and instinctively find it unfortunate.  But again, others may like it. Read the introduction and decide for yourself.

Part of my difficulty with the introduction is that it contrasted so much reading level wise with the rest of the background articles. This is to be expected, because they are by topnotch scholars.

First, Fr. Ronald Witherup and Abbot Jerome Kodell are two of the very finest with regards to bringing scholarly concepts to a popular audience. In my opinion they are head and shoulders above the more popular popularizers who dominate the Catholic media. Irene Nowell, OSB, is also quite good. The background articles are uniformly outstanding, and not run of the mill. Even advanced readers of the Bible will appreciate them.

When I see Witherup and Kodell’s name behind a book, article, or review, I pay close attention. They are very accomplished at bringing the Bible to non-specialists without losing the specialists. This is an art at which few excel. Plus, they have no overt agenda or ideology, so you know you are getting an objective, informed, and balanced, perspective. They come across as sincere believers as well as accomplished scholars, teachers, and writers.

The LRCSB is physically appealing, well laid out, and of a very readable type size. The footnotes are superb. The new translation of the OT is outstanding.

All in all, I would rank this Study Bible with the Catholic Study Bible published by Oxford University Press, which was composed by a Who’s Who of American Catholic Bible scholars. This indeed is high praise. Actually, the LRCSB is probably a bit easier to use, and the background articles are less overwhelming and more accessible.

In summary, this continues the outstanding tradition of the LRCSB. The Liturgical Press did a great job of putting this together. At $39.95 for the paperback edition, it is a very good buy.  Very highly recommended!

Pope Paul VI

Pope Paul VI: Christian Virtues and Values

Murphy’s Book

Fr. Jerome Murphy O’Connor, OP, professor at the Ecole Biblique de Jerusalem since 1967, is one of the finest Pauline scholars in the world. He is refreshing in that he is not afraid to go out on a limb, but he does so carefully and respectfully. He does not seek to polemicize or sensationalize. He is a teacher at heart, and a scholar who writes well.

I have attended Fr. Jerome’s lectures, and spoken to him individually. He is engaging and funny, as well as lucid. I still remember some of his dry wit.  He is very sincere and professional.

Fr. Jerome published an interesting book entitled “Paul the Letter-Writer; His World, His Options, His Skills.” The Liturgical Press is the publisher, from 1995.

Fr. Jerome states that this is a book for beginners, though a bit involved.  I would qualify that by saying that the beginner better like scholarly writing. It is not overly academic or technical. Other works by Fr. Jerome are far more involved. However, this is not a dumbed down book (to its credit), so be ready to think.

I found it to be very interesting and practical. It sheds light on Paul’s letter by humanizing their context. Fr. Jerome is very good about drawing out the human Paul. This can really help us avoid misinterpretation.

There aren’t many books on this subject. And it is a practical, as well as intellectual topic. Fr. Jerome writes accessibly, and in a dialogical manner. He writes conversationally in that it is like he is teaching you. This is refreshing.

You’ll have to muddle through some scholarly references, but they are necessary, and won’t overwhelm you. The book is of manageable length and tone. If you want to get a better grasp of Paul’s situation, what he had to work with, and how it affected the letters, this book is invaluable.

It can be ordered from TLP, phone 800-858-5450. litpress.org.

If you are willing to invest the time in this book, you will be richly rewarded. It is like taking a class from a master craftsman, a scholar held in high regard the world over.

I have trouble putting it down, and you likely will as well.

Worth checking out.

Fr. Brown’s Pastoral Magnum Opus

There are very few books that I can recommend to almost any serious student of the Bible. Even fewer would be equally applicable to homilist and person in the pew. This is definitely one.

Within fifteen minutes of perusing this compendium of Fr. Brown’s popular commentaries on the Sunday lectionary readings, I determined that it was a must read — first, for me, and then for those crazy enough to listen to me. It exceeds the current roster of popularizer commentaries on the Bible by a country mile. Fr. Brown comments on subjects I thought I knew well, and open up new avenues of reflection and application and background.

It offers incredible and concise insights into familiar biblical texts. It is amazing how much Fr. Brown can say with so few words. That is an uncommon gift, even for good authors.

This book is a great investment. It’s not cheap, but it’s worth every penny. The introductory articles by Brown’s colleagues, Witherup and Donahue, are also excellent.

This book is a goldmine. Its like having direct access to one of the greatest biblical scholars of the late twentieth century — who also happens to be a lucid and accessible writer.

You don’t have to be a scholar to enjoy this. Any serious beginner can handle it. With the increasing scarcity of formation available in parishes, this book fills the void.

Here is some info from the Liturgical Press website, litpress.org

Christ in the Gospels of the Liturgical Year
Raymond E. Brown, SS (1928-1998)
Expanded Edition with Essays
by John R. Donahue, SJ, and Ronald D. Witherup, SS
Ronald D. Witherup, SS, Editor
Paperback
2009 Catholic Press Association Award Winner!A decade after the untimely death of renowned Scripture scholar Father Raymond E. Brown, SS, he continues to inspire and inform scholars and preachers, students and pastoral ministers, lay and ordained. It… ISBN: 978-0-8146-1860-8
Price: $29.95

The phone number is 1-800-858-5450

If you mention my name, you won’t get an additional discount, just a certain amount of sympathy.

Start off the Easter season right with this classic, invaluable compendium.

The highest of recommendations.

Sermon on the Mount Book Review

Word Among Us Press has recently published an outstanding book on the Sermon on the Mount. It is entitled “Building Our House on Rock: The Sermon on the Mount”, and is written by Dennis Hamm, SJ.

Fr. Hamm is a widely respected and published biblical scholar. He has written insightfully on the beatitudes as well.

It is available from WAU at their website, wau.org at a price of 11.66, 20% off.

This book combines spirituality and study in an accessible fashion. Fr. Hamm is a trustworthy guide who writes well, making things understandable without becoming simplistic.

A note on WAU.

In my opinion, they are a bit of an eclectic publisher. I see this as a good thing. They are not ideologically driven. In addition to mainstream material, they publish scholarly works that are also accessible. Any serious layperson can read them profitably. Many presses shy away from these because of their lack of mass appeal. Not WAU. If a book is good, and fits their audience, they don’t let marketing concerns trump substance. Thus they publish works by very reputable authors who perhaps aren’t as well known as popular authors, but are every bit as good, and in my opinion, often significantly better.

Highly recommended.

Martini book review

Word Among Us Press has recently published an outstanding book by Cardinal Carlo Martini. It is entitled “The Gospel Way of Mary: A Journey of Trust And Surrender.

It is available from WAU at their website, wau.org at a price of 8.76, 20% off. In a word, Buy!

If you want to meet the biblical Mary, buy this book. It is free of the syrupy sentimentality and sanctimonious piety that sometimes distances us from Christ’s mother.  Martini brings us to the virgin of Nazareth in her human context, yet attuned to the Spirit.

I couldn’t put the book down. You won’t be able to either.

WAU also published Martini’s newest book on St. Paul. His first, The Testimony of St. Paul, is a modern classic. This follow up is also outstanding. You can’ t wrong with any of Martini’s books.

Kudo’s to WAU for making them available.

The Easter season is a great time for sampling Martini’s work.

Highly recommended.